I am in the 4th day of a 5 day lockdown suggested by the Governor of Jalisco, the state where Puerto Vallarta, Mexico is located. The last few days I have been doing 'Armchair' travel and the only actual travel I may be doing anytime soon is to get on a plane to fly home from Mexico to BC, Canada, if I can get out of the country. Even though I have a scheduled ticket doesn't mean the plane will be able to fly.
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| Sunset in Puerto Vallarta |
Before this Covid 19 all started a group of us were planning a trip to Morocco and Egypt in September. I was going to have a drink at Rick's Cafe in Casablanca, a moment of memory from the Humphrey Bogurt, Ingrid Bergman movie 'Casablanca.' It is interesting that when I did my research I found out the cafe was only a recreation of the set design for the 1930s movie. The cafe didn't open until 2004 but the owners have brought to life a memory for many from a much more innocent time. A duplicate of the piano from the film sits in the corner and people can request the pianist to play the song made famous 'As Time Goes By.'
I was hoping to go to Spain before arriving or after leaving North Africa to visit a young friend who had just moved to Malaga from Mexico with her husband and young son. They arrived a few days before the country was completely locked down. It has been difficult for them because the neighbourhood is brand new and all their friends and family live elsewhere in the world.
One of our travel group just flew back from Australia to Canada yesterday after floundering in a cruise ship on the high seas between Australia and New Zealand, waiting to land somewhere, anywhere, so she could fly home in the middle of this pandemic. Another couple I know flew in yesterday from Portugal after spending most of their holiday trying to leave a country they went to enjoy.
In November, I had plans to take my daughter and granddaughter to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City, something that has been on my bucket list since I was a little girl. I booked a room in a hotel on Times Square and was already scoping out enclosed bus stops on the parade route so that I could take ownership of one at 4 AM on parade day. We also planned to take in a couple of Broadway shows while there.
In 2021, two other friends and myself were thinking about a trip to Ireland to celebrate one of their 70th birthday. Her mother was born in Ireland but she had never been there, nor had I. It was a good reason to go and while I was there I planned to continue on to Scotland and England.
I have put all the things on my bucket list on hold, suddenly. Not for the usual reasons, health or lack of money which often stops people from carrying out their plans. The world itself has stopped me from my travels!
My world of travel has changed so much in just a few days. I can visit the beautiful and exciting places I want to see online but it's not the same as actually being there. I can watch live concerts and plays performing on Broadway online, but it isn't like sitting in a seat in the theatre, sharing popcorn with a friend. This is my new reality.
We are currently in a war with the tiniest of enemies and yet it has the strength to take everyone of us down! It is in the process of grounding every plane as airlines scramble to repatriate people to their home countries before they lock down too and allow their staff to heal from Covid 19, now rampant in the travel world.
I reconnected with an old acquaintance yesterday via facebook video messenger. He is in New Zealand, disappointed that he won't be doing the cruise he planned to see St. Petersburg. It sounds as though he may go into full lockdown in his country as early as today. I talked to him face to face as well as two other people living 140 km apart on Vancouver Island off the coast of BC, Canada. Our connection with one another was a longtime friend of mine who died suddenly last summer. I was talking to her cousin, her longest childhood friend, and her son.
Of course, the talk quickly got around to what was transpiring in our various parts of the world right now and how it was affecting all of us, especially mentally, emotionally and even physically and spiritually. I am gradually accepting what is happening around me, knowing I can't fix it. I can't control what is happening to my world but I can control how I respond to it.
The first few days I went through some heavy grieving, grieving for the world I knew that would never be the same, at least in my lifetime. I was waking up during the night, in tears but not understanding what was happening. It was affecting my ability to sleep and I felt my body panicking and anxious,.
Grief - We are suddenly dealing with a way of living that some have never had to deal with before...isolation.
We are grieving, going through the steps with denial, anger, bargaining, depression, not necessarily in that order. It's a lot to take in right now. Some of us will move through the grieving quickly, others will really struggle with the process. Eventually, some of us will accept what is happening.
We are social beings needing touch and communication. In a world where 85% of communication is nonverbal, how are we going to meet those needs in lockdown?Many people are still in the denial or anger stage but for those already into the next stage it is important to reassess how we will handle what is happening. Are we prepared to handle self-isolation? What has always been an important part of our lives, will it be very difficult to give up for a month or two?
Phones and social media may become our only contact with others if we are by ourselves. Whatsapp and messenger will allow us to talk and see but not touch.Astronauts going to space and isolating go through rigorous psychological testing and are given tools to deal with the depression that comes with what they are going through.It is difficult to deal with and get through the isolation, especially if a person is on their own.Many of our daily coping tools are already being removed; the morning coffee get together, playing pickle ball or tennis.... or in the north, going skiing, going to the pub/ bar daily to have a drink, watching all the sports on TV, going out to dinner once a week with friends, going to a movie or a play.
Life is different now.
Physically - even going out walking with a friend right now looks strange, social distancing, 6 feet apart, and that's only if the country is not under full lockdown. Before the 5 day lockdown was put into place here, I went for a walk with a girlfriend, again keeping to the 6 foot distance. I was having a conversation with her but giggled a couple of times with the looks I got from locals wondering who on earth I was talking to.
Mentally and emotionally - in a place like Puerto Vallarta where the culture allows and encourages besos y abrazos (kisses and hugs) things have changed drastically. Suddenly, basic needs aren't being met. People are also struggling with emotions that are normally not there. Fear and anxiety are possibly causing emotional outbreaks like anger and crying. This is the first morning I have awakened without crying and it was such a relief to reach that point. Also, a few days into this pandemic, I quickly realized I was drinking a lot more than normal. I like a social drink occasionally but when I have beer, wine AND tequila all in the same day that isn't me. It took time to accept what was happening inside of me and how I was dealing with things.
Spiritually - I am going through a shift too. I have always believed in a higher power but for many years haven't been involved in organized religion nor do I want to be. I find I am listening to more music now that is associated with the church music of my youth because it is soothing. I considering spirituality a bargaining tool, helping me think a different way.
Hopefully life will get back to normal one day but In the meantime we have to accept our new reality. We can still meet and converse in person in our own homes..... just keep to the social distancing. Last night my neighbour joined me for dinner. We usually hug and do the cheek kiss when we meet, now I leave the door open and place myself at a 'safe' distance. I didn't pass the food around. We each helped ourselves. After talking with my daughter today I have to take the entertaining a step farther. We prepare and bring our own meals. The only thing we should be sharing is our company, 6 feet away from one another!
Please share this post and reach out to others who are alone. If you can, talk to them on video through skype or facebook messenger or whatsapp. Otherwise, phone them, reach out anyway you can.
(Susan Gerle is a writer who lives in a very Mexican neighbourhood in Puerto Vallarta at least 6 months of the year. Her other home is in Vernon, BC, Canada)
We are social beings needing touch and communication. In a world where 85% of communication is nonverbal, how are we going to meet those needs in lockdown?Many people are still in the denial or anger stage but for those already into the next stage it is important to reassess how we will handle what is happening. Are we prepared to handle self-isolation? What has always been an important part of our lives, will it be very difficult to give up for a month or two?
Phones and social media may become our only contact with others if we are by ourselves. Whatsapp and messenger will allow us to talk and see but not touch.Astronauts going to space and isolating go through rigorous psychological testing and are given tools to deal with the depression that comes with what they are going through.It is difficult to deal with and get through the isolation, especially if a person is on their own.Many of our daily coping tools are already being removed; the morning coffee get together, playing pickle ball or tennis.... or in the north, going skiing, going to the pub/ bar daily to have a drink, watching all the sports on TV, going out to dinner once a week with friends, going to a movie or a play.
Life is different now.
Physically - even going out walking with a friend right now looks strange, social distancing, 6 feet apart, and that's only if the country is not under full lockdown. Before the 5 day lockdown was put into place here, I went for a walk with a girlfriend, again keeping to the 6 foot distance. I was having a conversation with her but giggled a couple of times with the looks I got from locals wondering who on earth I was talking to.
Mentally and emotionally - in a place like Puerto Vallarta where the culture allows and encourages besos y abrazos (kisses and hugs) things have changed drastically. Suddenly, basic needs aren't being met. People are also struggling with emotions that are normally not there. Fear and anxiety are possibly causing emotional outbreaks like anger and crying. This is the first morning I have awakened without crying and it was such a relief to reach that point. Also, a few days into this pandemic, I quickly realized I was drinking a lot more than normal. I like a social drink occasionally but when I have beer, wine AND tequila all in the same day that isn't me. It took time to accept what was happening inside of me and how I was dealing with things.
Spiritually - I am going through a shift too. I have always believed in a higher power but for many years haven't been involved in organized religion nor do I want to be. I find I am listening to more music now that is associated with the church music of my youth because it is soothing. I considering spirituality a bargaining tool, helping me think a different way.
Hopefully life will get back to normal one day but In the meantime we have to accept our new reality. We can still meet and converse in person in our own homes..... just keep to the social distancing. Last night my neighbour joined me for dinner. We usually hug and do the cheek kiss when we meet, now I leave the door open and place myself at a 'safe' distance. I didn't pass the food around. We each helped ourselves. After talking with my daughter today I have to take the entertaining a step farther. We prepare and bring our own meals. The only thing we should be sharing is our company, 6 feet away from one another!
Please share this post and reach out to others who are alone. If you can, talk to them on video through skype or facebook messenger or whatsapp. Otherwise, phone them, reach out anyway you can.
(Susan Gerle is a writer who lives in a very Mexican neighbourhood in Puerto Vallarta at least 6 months of the year. Her other home is in Vernon, BC, Canada)
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